monoceros blogs
Taken by my mom on her last night in Ann Arbor. 01.11.03
Been a little down and out. A little ill in the stomach and quite ill in the heart. And thoroughly fatigued (as usual).
At the airport this morning, I wouldn't let my mom go. I was never a hanger-on as a child, and I am now at 25 years old. I think it moved my mom somewhat, she wouldn't let me go either. She finally released me, because she had to take off her boots for inspection. And I turned to go at last. Back to my dirty white VW rabbit, back to my abysmal life in my once-again quiet apartment, back to waiting for the right words to appear on the screen and for my characters to do what they're supposed to do, back to coming home at night to a mother-empty living room, back to cooking my own meals again and having boring breakfasts and preparing my vitamins and ironing my shirts and worrying about class the next day. Oh, and mustn't forget the daily mutterings of French and Italian verbs in the shower before the two languages abandon me completely (not that they were ever with me a great deal).
On Friday evening, I took to bed early due to a strange case of abdominal reactions to an unwelcome food item (I don't know which yet), and I listened to my neighbor playing the theme song of Final Fantasy X on the synthesizer, along with some badly phrased Richard Clayderman pieces. I thought of our PS2 sitting in Lin Kiat's bedroom. I thought of the piano I share with my brother. I thought of my brother playing the piano. Then I thought of my brother playing tennis with Lin Kiat. And I remembered that my mother is bringing a tennis racket home for Lin Kiat. I wish she'd taken me home too. That night, after I suffered (rather dramatically, I must admit, sinking to the floor by my bathroom sink) and dragged myself to bed, my mom watched over me and rubbed my back until I fell asleep. I was six years old again, curled up for a nap beside my mom, and safe from the world.
Posted by Monoceros at November 2, 2003 10:36 PMI know what you are going through. I had the same feeling when my mum left a couple of months ago.
I hope you are feeling better and brighter when you read this.
I'm off to Japan tomorrow but I'll be sure to check how you are doing when I get a chance on hotel computers.
Did you mange to get a ticket yet? Really hope so... Eri and I can't wait to see you!
Take Care Hengster!
Posted by: B at November 3, 2003 4:33 AMVanny!!!
i hope you are feeling better....
take a few days off? if you can....
your worried friend.
Like I said, Vanny, if you need to talk, feel free to call, or let me know when it's a good time to call you. Keep yourself busy. And remember - December is coming!
Posted by: Van Tan at November 3, 2003 5:33 AMso touching...
i hope you're feeling better now! and yeah, don't overwork...Van, Des, May & I don't want any goldfish for christmas presents!
Yeah, like Van says, let us know when would be a good time for us to call to have a chat. I want to make use of all the value in my phone card before i leave Sydney. and i still have lots!
Posted by: joan at November 3, 2003 7:03 AMThanks for writing, folks. Means a lot to me to hear from you. I am feeling a teeny bit better, although this rainy Monday isn't helping a lot. Physically, I'm better, but still tired. Mentally, I'm doing my best.
B, I am going home, come what may. I have a ticket, albeit a bit expensive, that takes me home from Dec 20 to Jan 6. Lin Kiat and I think we can make back the cost later on. But we both want me home. Will certainly meet you and Eri before you leave for the holidays. Have a good trip in Japan. Say hi to Mark for me. *grin*
Joan, don't worry. Promise you won't get goldfish presents. Would love to call you some time. Let me know when's a good time to call you too. May, I wish I could take some days off but the system here is harsh, or maybe I'm harsh on myself. Maybe if you write more of your lovely weblog posts, I will feel better each day! Loved the one on Ceilidh. I love watching people dance! Van babes, what would I do without you?
Frankly, what would I do without any of you?!
Posted by: Van Heng at November 3, 2003 9:35 AMWell, remember no preserved tow gay for you okay:? and stock up the medication. We'll get that for you when you come back this time round.
Posted by: Lin Kiat at November 9, 2003 11:09 AM