A little drunk, and stuck with a difficult choice

I got a little drunk again, on a school night! The first-year prose folks met with Peter Ho Davies, the director of the MFA program, after the Hopwood tea today. It was a nice roundtable discussion followed by drinks at Ashley's. Seven of us, including Peter, continued our talk over beers. I chose to be the individualist and selected a Cosmopolitan (again!). I got very red, something I discovered in the restroom mirror, and I'm surprised no one commented (I think they were all just being polite). One drink downed a little swiftly is enough to turn me scarlet. What is it with this bloody drink? It's got Vodka, cranberry, lime and Cointreau, and it doesn't make me wheeze, even though it is a strong drink, I believe. I made sure I was sane and sober enough before driving to Lim Jia's place where Jake, her tuba-playing boyfriend, cooked us an authentic Jewish dinner. One rule we learned (although Jake didn't impose this on us): never divide or cut up bread with a knife. Among friends and family, you always peel off chunks from the loaves with your fingers. A knife is just too "violent" an object to wield among loved ones.

While watching an E! True Hollywood Story about Jonbenet Ramsey, I thought over something Peter had mentioned to me earlier today. He wanted to nominate me for a fellowship that grants an Asian graduate student full funding with stipend for a year, on condition that she returns to her home country to pursue a professional career, and that she does not receive further aid via a graduate instructorship. Peter thinks I'm likely to be awarded the fellowship if I agree to be nominated; the downsides are that I will have to go home to Singapore not long after I graduate and that I won't be required to teach writing classes in my second year. The former prevents me from remaining in the US to gain experience as a college lecturer, and the latter, while providing me extra time to write, actually deprives me of teaching experience as well. Zilch on my resume. Not good. It's probably prestigious to receive the fellowship and great to have more time to write, but I actually do want the teaching responsibilities, because someday perhaps, I'd like to teach writing to young adults and adults in Singapore who wouldn't have the chances I had to come to the US to learn the craft of writing, to live and work in the country where the short story form is alive and celebrated. I want to earn a wealth of experience learning and teaching here before going home, but accepting this fellowship prevents me from that.

I believe my answer to Peter will have to be "no". (I suppose the choice wasn't so difficult after all.)

Here are the details of the fellowship.

Posted by Monoceros at November 13, 2003 11:32 PM