The stuff of youth

The weekend was a good one - I spent Saturday afternoon at my friend Elizabeth's house. We had cheese toast and red peppers for lunch, followed by the tea I brought over, some holiday-themed Celestial Seasonings flavors. Later, I spoke with Elizabeth's husband, Gyorgi, who's Bulgarian, about raising children, being away from the place you grew up, living in the US, and immigration laws. Their children are just fantastic kids - Tony, 7, Yanka, 6 and little Kirrel, who's 3. It's Bulgarian tradition for little boys not to have their hair trimmed till they're older, so Kirrel has shoulder-length hair and looks perfectly handsome with his bright eyes and crooked grin.

I've played with them before and read them some stories after Yanka more or less plopped herself in my lap and pushed a book in my face. The first time I met them, after some fifteen minutes or so - and after introducing me to their pet guinea pig, Lucy - Yanka and Kirrel were crawling and pouncing on me as if they were trying to take me down like a sinking ship. Which I was, sinking to the floor with their weight. In truth, the joy of playing with such exuberant children really makes the pain more bearable. Elizabeth says she'll come see me in several years' time to see my brood.

I'm not sure about three children, but I certainly hope to raise a couple the way Elizabeth and Gyorgi have brought up theirs. I watch the way they speak to the children when they've done something wrong or forgotten to do something right. They speak in even tones, as if the children are little adults deserving of their respect. They never yell, never reprimand without reason, and always question the children so the children would think things through and realize for themselves what is the right thing to do, and why it's right. Tantrums aren't tolerated either, and Kirrel was left to yell on his own and fling his little cart after Elizabeth took away the stick with which he used to pound his sister's head (which was thankfully helmeted). He yelled until he realized no one was going to pay him attention or return his stick to him, and then he sobered up and returned to play with the older children.

I also got to meet the children's other friends: a Norwegian brother-and-sister team - startingly European with their blonde hair, blue eyes and sharp facial structures - a beautiful little girl named Asia, whose mother is black and father, Puerto Rican. Asia is seven, and she really is a lovely child with dark, curling hair, pale porcelain skin and arresting eyes. I think she wears her exotic looks the way Kristin Kreuk (of Lana Lang fame) does - very well and very unassumingly.

As I was driving home that day, I found it entertaining to run through my list of children's names for my future kids (as most girls are wont to do).

Boys' names (in no particular order):
1. Owen (a Welsh/Celtic name that Lin Kiat likes too, because he enjoys watching Michael Owen on the field, although I didn't pick Owen for that reason. The meanings of the name: archer, young warrior, well-born offspring.)

2. Julien (the French version of Julian, a beautiful-sounding word)

3. Salvatore (short form Toto. Most Italian names for boys are a little over the top, but I fancied this one because of my favorite movie Cinema Paradiso. Toto was the epitome of cute, really. But in Singapore, a little boy named Salvatore will be teased relentlessly for being named after a shoe brand. People, the shoe was named after the designer. Just as Mercedes - the car was named after a girl.)

4. Tristan (one of my favorite names, although it comes from the Italian word, triste, which means sadness. Tristan of the Tristan and Isolde tragedy. Well, I'm not really the superstitious type so I don't think it should matter).

5. Raoul (Italian origin, although there is a Spanish footballer called Raul, yes? The Raoul I know of is an ex-national swimmer for Italy and now the famous Gap guy in this fall's commerical for broken-in jeans. Go here for a look!)

6. Howell (short form Howl. From a book I read most recently. Howl in the book is Welsh and very, very clever.)

7. Dashiell (French. In "Minority Report, one of the pre-cogs was named Dash, after Dashiell Hammett, writer of many detective stories. I studied one of his books in university and was very taken with his name. This is beginning to make me sound frivolous; well, these lists are rather frivolous!)

Girls' names (in no particular order):
1. Coralie (French; has something to do with the beauty of corals, I think)

2. Sienna (after the Italian city, Siena. Although unwitting Singaporeans will pronounce it "xian-ah." How dreadful!)

3. Samaine (I climbed a mountain in New England with a girl called Samaine. She was a strong hiker, and we had a mutual appreciation fan club going on as we admired each other's determination to get up that bloody mountain.)

4. Nefret (Popular ancient Egyptian girls' name, Nefret means "beautiful". It can also be translated as "good". Too, it was part of the name of a number of Egyptian queens like Nefertari, Nefertiti, etc.)

5. Rohan (actually pronounced "Rho-en". I met a girl from the UK called Rohan, and she didn't mention anything about her name being made fun of. Although with the LOTR craze now, everyone will have heard of Rohan and associate the word with the horse-people of Middle-Earth. And in Singapore, where people aren't known for their diction, the name "Rohan" will probably be pronounced correctly only 20% of the time.)

6. Cecily (Celtic/Gaelic; one famous Cecily is the young charge of Ernest in The Importance of Being Ernest.)

Posted by Monoceros at November 23, 2003 7:46 PM