The first day

I was late to my own class. Just a wee bit. I took an early bus so I could get chalk from the office, then I figured I had a little time to spare and hung back to chat a bit (get some moral support) from some MFA mates who were making copies of their syllabus. Wise move, instructor.

My students were waiting and already chatting among themselves. What happened to the promise that "your students are going to be just as or more nervous than you"? They eyed me like wolves following a rabbit's furtive momvements. I couldn't have wished harder that I were invisible. I placed my things as gracefully as possible on the table, then whipped round so my back faced them, and wrote some information in a horrific cursive script on the board.

Then I turned back and saw everyone copying the information in their large and small notebooks. I noticed a couple of rebel students staring back at me, not writing a thing down. Okay, let's move on. I had a little speech all prepared. I dumped most of it at that moment. I just spewed out a few basic boring things, and then sped on to the next item, roll call. I must have been talking a mile a minute.

I made everyone rearrange the tables so that we faced each other, and then we did an ice-breaker ("I know your worst fear about the first day of class is about to be realized..."). While they talked amongst themselves before introducing their partners, I took a moment to breathe. Later, we went through the syllabus. I made them read parts of it out. I really zipped through the thing because I was terrified of boring the students. Maybe I should have slowed down. Oh well, too late. I did talk a bit about myself, got a little lost and gave up.

After breezing through the syllabus, we still had 45 minutes to go. I made them write. And then I let them leave. I told them, "If anyone would like to drop, please let me know now, I won't be offended." They all just made quick exits from the classroom. Brilliant. I have 18 students. We're stuck together for the next 14 weeks, for better or worse.

The best episode yet - after class I was walking down a corridor back to my office and I bumped into another MFA mate. He asked me how my class went and I did a little explosion, wailing about how nervous I was, how the kids knew, how they were grinning at me when I was speaking, how it unnerved me. I finally let him go to face his own class, and continued walking. Five steps later, I faced one of my students who waved at me. I'm sure he heard everything. I smiled, got his name right, waved back and proceeded down the hallway with even more humiliation that I thought I was capable of experiencing.

A brilliant, just brilliant start to my teaching career. At least I've got all their names in my head, and matching faces too. Oh, and I've already received an email from a student who wants to see me during my office hours tomorrow. Yippee doo dah.