"Going back, or coming forward"

So I have about half a dozen drafted entries for the blog, none of which reached completion in the past three weeks I've been home. I had a lot going on during my last couple of weeks in Ann Arbor - packing (as has already been mentioned but I can't stop writing about it), dancing (can't stop writing about this either), farewells, and much despair.

I left the blog dead in the water for a long time because I just didn't feel like writing. Actually, I didn't want to do much apart from sleep, eat, and write the very occasional email. It took me some two weeks to unpack everything from my two suitcases, and even then, most of my stuff is lying around my bedroom. LK has been incredibly patient with my crazy moods, although he's had a hellish few weeks at work as well. I don't deserve him.

Apart from moping around (I really should be ashamed of myself), I got acquainted with the new family member - the pint-size dog, Snowy - and also said goodbye to a friend - Barney, my old colleague, who's traveling for the next month before moving to Japan. I still can't believe how soon he had to leave after my return home. Go well, B. See you in Japan some day.

I semi-successfully transfered my Itunes library from the laptop to the new desktop LK put together for me. The library has been shifting around quite a bit - in Ann Arbor, it left my HP desktop and settled nicely in the new HP laptop I was bringing back for LK; in Singapore, I thought I had this transferring business down, but I messed up and lost my playcounts. At least I got the library over intact. No more moves again, I hope.

I also dragged Ms. DimSumDolly with me to a milonga at Opium Bar. After dancing with two fellows, I've decided I really miss my old partners in Ann Arbor, and that I need to take lessons really soon - tangueras here dance a vareity of styles, and I only dance close-embrace, which is what they dance in the salons of Buenos Aires. One guy told me girls in Singapore are shy about getting so close to another man. Hmm...it's just dancing, what's the big deal?

Many thanks to noob, who supplied me with Scrubs episodes from season 1 through 4. I admit I've come to the series embarrassingly late in the day, but that's okay, I get to watch over 80 episodes at a go! Great writing, acting, directing, and boy, what a soundtrack!

In other news, I've turned down a full-time job with my old boss but taken on freelance work for the next half a year. I hope I made the right decision. And with all my free time, I came across a young Singaporean fellow who's just rearing to begin his college education in Michigan. It's funny, knowing I've left school forever, and watching him at the beginning. Who knows, if I hadn't turned down the university's belated offer, I might be teaching him college composition this fall. But then I would miss out on doing up the new home, which is looking as splendid as it can manage with brick and cement and a roof.

I guess I should say thank you to several of my friends in Ann Arbor (even though some of them may never read this), who made my last days there really special. Jake (Jake, the superb guy who lent me his car for over a month) and Jia, who accompanied me to an outdoor milonga on my last night even though they don't dance; Frank, who thought nothing of wading in Huron River at the Arb when I decided it was the only thing worth doing on my last afternoon in Ann Arbor; Michelle, who brought me lunch when I was cleaning up my apartment and whose eyes welled up behind her sunglasses (I just knew) when we said goodbye; Irene, who came to tango class because I asked her to, but then loved it enough to keep attending even after I left; all my MFA buddies, for that dinner and such awesome company; Kay, Erwin, and noob, for being there, for Chicago, and of course to noob, for putting me up during my last week, for the Ipod/Itunes tutorial, banana/cinnamon/brown sugar/ice-cream heaven, and storing all the junk I couldn't take home with me. I'll be back to reclaim it one day.

"Girder" by Nan Cohen, from Rope Bridge

The simplest of bridges, a promise
that you will go forward,

that you can come back.
So you cross over.

It says you can come back.
So you go forward.

But even if you come back
then you must go forward.

I am always either going back
or coming forward. There is always

something I have to carry,
something I leave behind.

I am a figure in a logic problem,
standing on one shore

with the things I cannot leave,
looking across at what I cannot have.

Posted by Monoceros at August 22, 2005 9:10 AM