2010's show

A friend of mine said that according to his geomancer, 2009 was awful for horses but 2010 will be brilliant for us. Skeptical as I've always been, I have no expectations that it will be. In fact, I began the new year with mixed feelings. But I do like to dwell in possibility. So I'm putting up two pieces of writing to mark the beginning of 2010, both of which capture these dual - these dueling - emotions.

"Riveted"
by Robyn Sarah

It is possible that things will not get better
than they are now, or have been known to be.
It is possible that we are past the middle now.
It is possible that we have crossed the great water
without knowing it, and stand now on the other side.
Yes: I think that we have crossed it. Now
we are being given tickets, and they are not
tickets to the show we had been thinking of,
but to a different show, clearly inferior.

Check again: it is our own name on the envelope.
The tickets are to that other show.

It is possible that we will walk out of the darkened hall
without waiting for the last act: people do.
Some people do. But it is probable
that we will stay seated in our narrowed seats
all through the tedious dénouement
to the unsurprising end - riveted, as it were;
spellbound by our own imperfect lives
because they are lives,
and because they are ours.

"I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure, but now I find I can't stop wanting. I want to surprise myself. I want to lose and get over it. I want to define myself instead of having others define me. I want to win and have people be happy for me. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to not be afraid of the unknown. It’s not that I think that I'm going to get all these things, I just want the possibility of getting them. The possibility that things are going to change."
~ from "Friday Night Lights"

And I'll be playing this song on the way to work tomorrow, determined to enjoy the show.

The Show, by Lenka